Sometime ago, I attended a seminar conducted by Dr. Honey Carandang of the MLAC Institute for Children and Families. She's a little bit controversial a couple of months ago because of the "Jan Jan" issue vs. Willie Revillame. Jan Jan was a small boy who performed a "macho dance" that started the whole controversy....
Anyway, I admire MLAC's advocacy. One of their projects is they go to poor barangays and teach people on how to be good parents.
One time I was walking in a not so nice neighborhood and I passed by a family. The child (maybe around 4 to 5 years old) was crying. And the father was irritated and he started shouting at the poor child. He said: " put@$%£% ikukulong kita sa hawla pag di ka tumigil!!!"....=(
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1. "Parenting is the most important of all tasks but its the most difficult and most taken for granted. No one teaches us how to be effective parents."
I would say that parenting is really a full time job, 24/7, 365 days a year. However, I understand that parents need to work in order to feed their families. So what happens is the child is more often than not, being taken care of the yaya or by lolo and lola. In some cases, one parent stays at home while the other works. Uso na rin ngayon ang "houseband", not just the housewife....
As to parenting education, we normally just learn from our parents....there is no formal school really...good thing now, there are a lot of reference books and parenting workshops....
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2. "Values are not taught, but are absorbed by children subliminally, unconsciously and effortlessly"
Although we teach our kids verbally to be nice, polite, kind, etc...iba pa rin yun nakikita nila whether at home in school or even on tv....so if they see a lot of negativity in their surroundings, may effect daw ito sa mga bata....
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3. "Parenting must change as the child and the parents go thru different developmental stages."
For example, at 2 years old daw, the toddler is at his/her "NO" stage. He/she likes to say "NO".....This is a start of limit setting. If your overcareful daw, you instill fear on the child....its ok to have limits, but allow them to explore....
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4. "There should be consistent sets of limits for children. Children need to be consistently learn the do's and don'ts until they become their own parents."
The four (4) C's of disciplining a child is Conviction (don't be tentative), Clarity (be clear, don't assume, say clearly to the child), Consistency and Consequence (each behaviour should have to have a consequence)...
Its good to DISCIPLINE a child BUT SAY IT WITH RESPECT!!!
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5. Lastly, I picked up these nice MESSAGES FROM A CHILD TO HIS/HER PARENTS. Imagine na lang that your child/children are saying these things to you: =)
- PLEASE BE HAPPY SO WE CAN BE HAPPY TOO!
- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SO WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU!
- MY PARENTS ARE OKAY AND I MATTER TO THEM!!!
Hope this helps.
Ge
Gerald Cantor is a Registered Financial Planner graduate, a Certified Public Accountant and a Certified Internal Auditor. He is also a Financial Consultant of Pru Life UK. Ge is proud to be an ex-OFW, a "career-shifter", a "high-leaping" baller, a newby entrepreneur and most importantly, a "dedicated" dad of Gia (3yo) and Clarie (2yo).
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